Tuesday, May 7, 2013

We Are Not Amused

Ever since Friday, Laura has been haunting the Canada Post web site, tracking the status of some parcel. Over and over and over again. Every hour she was on that page. By this morning, it was every ten minutes.

Laura doesn't have time to do that. She has so much work to do on her computer. (I hardly ever get to use it anymore!) She doesn't have time to just be reloading the same page over and over, watching the transit of some box from Vancouver to the Booming Metropolis. And yet she did.

I figured this parcel had to have something really special inside of it. Like maybe apples. Or some peanut butter so Laura could make me my favourite yummy peanut butter cookies. Or maybe a nice fuzzy blanket for my bed, which would feel nice when I rub my face against it. (Not like these boring old sheets Laura keeps putting on my bed now.)

Well... that parcel finally arrived this morning, and do you know what was inside of it?

Merry Skatemass

That's right. No apples. No peanut butter. No nice fuzzy blanket. Just more of those nasty shoes with wheels on them. And also:

New Gear

There was nothing for me in that box at all! That whole big box was just full to the brim of roller derby gear!

Laura already had roller derby gear!


I try not to complain. Really I do. Laura is my friend, and I want her to be happy, and I know that she loves this roller derby stuff. But Laura is supposed to be my friend too! She's supposed to want to spend time with me! And I hardly ever get to see her anymore.

First it was practices. Three times a week. Then she started doing this thing called "NSOing" for some other league. That was only once a month at first. But then she started NSOing for another league and now it's almost every week! Then there's the fund-raising. And the community service. And the parties (which I don't get invited to!) And the scrimmages. And have you seen this:

What is Laura wearing in that picture? Laura hates pink! She HATES it. ESPECIALLY baby pink! Laura would never wear pink--until some roller derby people ask her to do it. Then she just throws it on like it's no big deal.

I would never make Laura wear pink.

Please come back to me Laura.

moving house is hard work!

I miss you.

Are Not