Monday, March 7, 2011

Human FAQ

What I want to know is this: Why do humans ask questions when they don't care to know what the answer its?

For instance: Tonight Laura was cooking something in the kitchen, and it smelled very good, so I decided to go and see what was up.

Laura saw me and she said, "Princess Kendal, how's it going?"

I told her it would be going a whole lot better if she would share what she was cooking with me. But Laura just smiled and turned back to her pan and didn't give me any!

Then there are all the times that I go to Laura to tell her that it's dinner time. I stand right in front of her and give her my very best "it's dinnertime" look.

But humans have trouble with looks. Laura doesn't always understand what I mean. Still, she recognizes that I want something. So she says, "Princess Kendal, what can I do for you?"

And I tell her very clearly, "You could get me my dinner."

I don't just rely on The Look. And neither do I rely on telepathy. (Humans have trouble with that sometimes too.) No, I am very clear. I explain myself using full body language and the proper choreography and everything. I know that Laura understands my answer.

Still, she just smiles and says, "You're cute, Princess Kendal. Cheeky, but cute." And then she goes on about her business like we never had the conversation at all!

Laura's pretty smart for a human, so I don't think it's a lack of understanding. It's more of a willful oblivion. But why ask the question at all if you're not going to respond appropriately to the answer?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

When It's Good to Let Them See You Sweat

Hi everybody!

The weather has been up and down again here, which has made my snow all icy again. Now the snow has such a hard icy crust on top of it, I don't even sink into the deepest snow. I cannot roll around in it or rub my face in it. I'm even afraid to rub my belly on it, because it is so slippery: what if I couldn't stand up again? Still, I have to go out in the yard every day to make sure it is okay. What is a Princess to do?

My brother Ashton, when he was alive, told me never to show any weakness. Don't let them know that you're afraid. Ashton was pretty smart. He had some good ideas. But I don't think he was always right about this one.

For example, many of you know how much I love to play towel games. Well, lately Laura has been very busy, so we don't always get to play towel games, even when I've really been outside. We still play every night at bedtime, though.

Usually at the end of the day I am very tired. (It is hard work being a Princess.) And usually I am already in bed long before Laura decides that it is bed time. And then she wants me to get up to go outside with her before she goes to bed! I always make sure to let her know what an imposition this is. Then Laura says:

"Come on, Princess Kendal. Come outside with me one last time. Then we can play towel games!"

See how that works? If I am too eager to go outside, Laura thinks I will be happy to just go outside and then come back in again and let her go right back to her computer without playing towel games first. But if I make like I don't want to go outside, then Laura will promise me towel games as an incentive to get me to go!

So this morning, when we went outside and it was all icy, I made sure to let Laura know just how nervous I was about slip-sliding away on top of all of that scary ice. And Laura said:

"Come on, Princess Kendal. You can do it. Be a brave girl for Laura. Then we can play towel games!"

And I got Laura to play towel games with me at six o'clock in the morning!