Friday, July 17, 2009

Lost in Translation

Laura is always telling me how smart I am -- and I think she's right. I am smart. I know this because I know a lot of human words. For instance:

I know what "breakfast time" means.

TRANSLATION: Jump on the bed and rub your face in the blankets, and if your human doesn't get the hint, stick your bum up in the air real high. (It's important to start your day with a good bum massage when you are a princess.)

And I know what "dinner time" means.

TRANSLATION: Do the happy dance:

Doing the Happy Dance

then run into the kitchen real fast before your human gets distracted with something else:

Dinner Time!

(Humans have short attention spans. You do not want to let them get side-tracked with email or some other computer thing when it is dinner time.)

I know what "come here" means.

TRANSLATION: Crack one eye open just a sliver to see if the prize being offered is worth the effort:

peeking through just a slit

And I know what "let's go for a walk" means.

TRANSLATION: Run away and hide!

towel games

I even understand "it's not time yet, Princess Kendal."

TRANSLATION: Try harder.

Compare all of that to how poorly Laura understands puppy dog.

Laura is really smart, but sometimes, when I tell her it is dinner time, she fills my water bowl, and when I tell her my water bowl is empty, she tries to make me go outside in the yard!

Sometimes I let Laura sit on my throne, because I know it makes her feel important to sit there, but when I say to her, "Laura, it's my turn now please,"

It's My Turn Please Laura

she slaps her leg and says, "Come on then," like she thinks I'm going to climb up and sit on top of her lumpy body! Some days I have a devil of a time getting her to move so I can have my throne back.

Me on My Throne

Some nights, when I tell Laura it is bed time, she just says, "Kendal, stop licking me." Then she turns back to her computer. If I persist, she looks at me again and says, "Kendal, I have no idea what you want." After all the time we have been together, Laura still doesn't understand a simple thing like bed time.

So, like I said, I think all of the human vocabulary I have picked up over the years is pretty impressive in comparison.

There's still some human speech that eludes me, however. Sometimes Laura opens her mouth and words come out and I have no idea what she's talking about. I perk up my ears and look right at her.

better listen up

Still no clue.

Now, being a smart Princess, I know some tricks to help me figure out what Laura is saying, even when she uses words I don't know. Watching her body language often gives me clues, especially if she gets up and starts walking about the house.

If Laura walks to the front door, I know to be wary.

which way is she walking?

That's not such a good direction. When Laura walks that way, she's usually going out someplace and telling me how long I'm going to be left home alone -- or worse: Sometimes she wants me to go outside with her.

If Laura walks towards the back of our house, however, I perk up.

food is in that direction!

Food is in that direction!

Laura doesn't always move around when she's talking, however. Sometimes she just sits at her computer and says strange things. When she does this, I tip my head to one side.


I've seen Laura do this when she is puzzled by something. It's supposed to help you understand things better.

If the held-tipping trick doesn't work, then I squint my eyes and peer at Laura through tiny slits.


Squinting is supposed to help with understanding too -- but sometimes it just makes me fall asleep!


For all of my smarts, however, there are still times when all of the head-tipping, eye-squinting, and paying-attention-to-body-language in the world doesn't help me. Like when I give Laura my very best "I'm so cute you cannot possibly deny me," grin:

I'm So Cute

and she just smiles and says, "Princess Kendal, I admire your perseverance."

What does that mean?

4 comments: said...

Clearly, she's got you figured out. Just like mine do. *grin*

Laura Rainbow Dragon said...

Don't I know it!

A Canadian in Aviation said...

Your blog is great! I am having some trouble getting mine the way I want it!
As for moving, I think you beat me in the number of times, but I bet I've gone to more places than you, especially countries! Princess looks great and she would probably like to meet Benji again


Princess Kendal, Wonder Dog said...

Hi Dick,

Thanks. Laura helped me to set up my blog. She helps me to type the entries too. (Laura is a faster typer than me because she has longer fingers, but I tell her what to type!)

Laura has been to Canada, the United States, England, Wales, Austria, Belgium, Luxembourg and Germany (for half an hour!) and I think that's it. Me, I have only ever been in Canada. Laura says it is interesting to visit other places, but I like it here at home (especially under the kitchen table where I have my bed).

I remember Benji. He is an okay dog. He didn't get in my face like some of those other dogs at the puppy park and he was good at chasing squirrels. I hope he is still keeping those rascally squirrels in line. (I have to chase them out of my yard here all the time, and rabbits too.)